Part of me is feeling inspired to write. Another part is feeling rebellious, since there are so many of these going around that I feel almost too conform-y when I write on it. Is this a bad excuse for interpersonal relationships?
But then again, no. Simply an enhancer - it keeps you close even over distances. And if you're already close geographically, it enhances your understanding of one another. Right?
Anyhow, I am struggling with jealousy. And ego. Together at last. I wish I could be rid of them at last! When confronted with certain stimuli, there is some little programme in me that turns me into a competitive and jealous beast. Sometimes it's a person's words or deeds, and sometimes it's the mere mention of a person that sets my blood cold in my feet and hot in my face.
It's really a horrid feeling. I don't know if there is something to be said for just feeling it (because half of the time, I am berating myself for feeling it in the first place) or trying to let it go.
And it's not something to discuss, especially since I feel as though most of it is in my head. I wish sometimes that I could dump everything out, clean it off, and then out everything back in - like in Le fabuleux destin d'Amelie Poulain.