07 December 2011

A Little Bit of Sacrifice

I've started doing yoga again!  By which I mean that I woke up this morning and practiced for two whole sun salutations (with variations!). 

Well, everyone has to start (again) somewhere, right?

I suppose I'm used to myself by now, after 31 years, but every now and then I get a little disappointed with my erratic habits.

For instance (don't be grossed out), but sometimes I forget to brush my teeth.  When I remember (and if I'm not in bed under the comforter where it's warm or busy typing a blog entry), I'll do it, but I'm not the kind of person who can't sleep knowing that she's forgotten something like that.

Don't judge.

I think that adding first a child and then children to the mix didn't help much, either.  What with the needs of little ones added to the needs of everyone else (read: husband), my daily maintenance got pushed to the back burner.

Fortunately, I don't think I'm the only one.  Well, that's fortunate only for my own ego, I guess.  It's no good when a bunch of mothers (or fathers) neglect personal needs in lieu of the needs of others.  Right?

But there must be something to this - I'm sure that you have heard the story of the single mother who, for the sake of the education and benefit of her child ended up working two jobs to make sure that her son made it through college.  That son is aware of this and is ever-grateful.

You may also have heard the joke about mamas and black stretch pants.  No?  Maybe that's a city thing - where the uniform for mothers is a baggy top and comfortable pants - in stark contrast to the helled boots, skinny jeans, and for.  (At least these days they're called yoga pants, which make them seem a little more respectable than the sweat pants my mother used to have to wear.)  The jeering came from those women (mostly, and sadly) who either didn't have any children OR re-entered the working for pay world very soon after baby's birth, leaving the post-partum comfortable (and happily cuter than ever these days) clothes behind in favor of a smart two-piece blouse and skirt ensemble.

The tricky bit about being a mama is finding the right balance, I suppose.  For some women, that means forsaking personal plans (or at least putting them on hold for a time) in favor of raising a child.  For others, that means demonstrating to the child the value of self-worth by continuing to pursue a chosen career.  And for all, it means a little bit of sacrifice.  No doubt the mother returning to work dreams of staying home and being with her sweet baby all day, being present and wholly enraptured with the everyday goings on.  No doubt the mother staying at home dreams of the time when she can be unconstrained by the will of another and make the choices that suit her alone.

For me, this is the point where I feel as though I'm emerging from the cocoon of infant-raising and stepping out, little by little, into the arena of life again.

And I can see what that little bit of sacrifice has paid for - my children are (relatively) well-adjusted.  I haven't missed a single event (although I do wish for some do-overs).  And I'm in a place where I can serve as my children's first teacher in our little home-school.

So I did some yoga today.  Maybe I'll do some tomorrow, too.  The best part of life is that each day is a new chance, with no mistakes in it (yet).

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