Mrs. Baby

This was originally published on Nathan's blog:

http://poemsbynathonius.blogspot.com/2010/11/mrs-baby.html

But I had to re-print it here, because I haven't posted in a while and also because it is spot on Elsie.

Mrs. Baby

Fat.
Wearing a dress.
Crying.
Making sounds nobody knows what they mean.
Saying all the words she knows in random order.
Laughing after soiling herself.
Putting food in my water then screaming at me until I scoop it out.
Pretending to be a cow but making a sound like a bird. 
Looking for things to throw.
Hoarding items in a secret place that only she knows about for days at a time.
Eating bananas like they're crackers.
Demanding pancakes at any and every hour of the day and night.
Sometimes when she's sleeping I call her Mrs. Despot, as a joke.
She then wakes up, gouges my face and shouts at me for a full minute
Before falling back into a "peaceful" sleep.
And I decide go about my day.